Since coming to Cambridge, I've been feeling unsettled. Lisa's visa problem has resulted me living in a 4-bed house alone, without a social life (which I had at least some in Exeter), detached from my students, my team and not making any new friends in Cambridge. It's my fault I suppose, as I could rev up my activities a few notches by joining more groups and do more socialising but I have become old, tired and lazy.
Cambridge is a beautiful place to live and work but without friends and a sense of belonging (I am merely a visitor after all), it was difficult and as the novelty of being here wears off, I have begun to feel restless. I've been getting some resistance from the middle ranks in Cambridge who seem to feel that my 'star' is shining too bright (I am reasonably prominent in the UK in the area of service) and they seem to dislike the fact that it's not Cambridge getting the credit but Exeter. So there is a feeling of rivalry and some of my efforts to do more in service seem to be meeting resistance resulting in me being slightly uncomfortable in Cambridge. Over in Exeter, things have gotten really bad with a few altercations with the new head of school. So when I left for Malaysia in December, I felt I was 'enemy within' in Cambridge and 'persona non grata' in Exeter, belonging in neither. Not pleasant.
When I went back to Malaysia and received confirmation that the family will all be moving and settling in the UK, I knew I had to do something. My visitorship in Cambridge is only a year and with the family settling in the UK, I was asked how long I intend to remain in Cambridge. The standard answer is of course 3 years because that's the length of my AIM fellowship and my sabbatical and I have no obligation to go back to Exeter till after that. But the truth is, if I am not attached to Cambridge University doing something useful, I won't be happy being in Cambridge, working off my house.
To top it all, Duncan's wife (Duncan was the one who invited me to Cambridge) passed away suddenly. It's really devastating and I don't think I can ever imagine how heart breaking it is. He is now on indefinite compassionate leave. My feeling of abandonment in Cambridge is clearly nowhere near his suffering but it meant an even uncertain future for me in Cambridge. Duncan heads up the S4T (Service Transformation project) research consortium of 9 universities, 14 principal investigators (I am one of them) and around 24 researchers. I expected Andy (another colleague) to take over.
Anyway, when I got back to Cambridge I decided to act. I told myself if I was going to continue in Cambridge, I would have to increase my involvement at IfM, ask for a stronger affiliation or do something. I didn't want to be pushy but I felt I needed to because I wanted some stability. If I was really not much use in Cambridge, might as well know it and finish up my visitorship in July and move on. So I made an appointment to meet with Mike Gregory, head of IfM.
Imagine how surprised I was when, before I could say anything, Mike asked if I would consider taking on the leadership of S4T. S4T???! 25 researchers, 9 universities, 90% of them engineers... is he kidding? I've always felt the S4T could do more and reach new heights but kept quiet coz I felt it wasn't my place to comment. S4T was also becoming an integration nightmare with quite a lot of problems internally with access to data. What a poison chalice! What an opportunity! I said yes without even thinking twice. Here I was thinking I wanted to increase my involvement in Cambridge and there was Mike asking me to lead S4T.....poisoned chalice or not, I could make a difference.
Events have gone on for a few weeks now. I've taken on the work and it's underway. I've come up with an integrative framework and have kept the team energized. Mike had dinner with me last night and suggested that I take on a non-stipendary Senior Research Fellow (SRF) position in Cambridge so that I would be officially 'staff'. I also mentioned that it would be politically good to pay Exeter some money for my increased time spent on S4T. Mike also said that I should discuss with Andy and Paul on what my 'title' should be. I wasn't sure what he meant - then I realise that the SRF is just a position to satisfy Cambridge internally. To the outside world, he wanted me to assume a more prominent title. I suggested Director, Service Science Research and Education. He said he felt service science was too much 'owned' by IBM and I countered with the idea that if anyone had the ability to prise service science away from IBM, it would be Cambridge....he quite liked the idea..
Well, from being uncertain and unsettled, I am suddenly SRF and a probably a directorship in Cambridge leaving no doubt to others that I am jointly appointed so hopefully that would silence the over zealous middle ranks. With the Cambridge brand behind me, I really can make a difference in pushing the service agenda... I can dream big again!
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